Story #6

A successful day was as simple as getting up and showering before 2pm. 

What is your diagnosis?

Clinical Depression for 10 years

What do your symptoms look like? 

Some of my episodes were worse than others. My “better” days consisted of me going through the motions of life. I appeared to be normal and happy, but I wasn’t motivated too much beyond going to school and work. I put on a brave face but I felt hopeless most of the time.

During my worst episodes (which usually lasted a few months) I felt completely hopeless, developed insomnia, had little to no appetite, and had weekly anxiety attacks that caused me to hyperventilate and shake. I would call out of work frequently when this happened because I couldn’t handle the added stress or couldn’t muster up enough strength to put on my “happy” face. Those episodes were filled with days where I felt too weak to get out of the bed. A successful day was as simple as getting up and showering before 2pm. 

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

Depression is complex and it’s not something you can “snap” out of. Most of my friends didn’t understand what I was going through and that made me hide (try to) my illness even more. The last thing I needed was someone telling me that it was in my head or making me feel ashamed and weak. I was doing enough of that on my own. I didn’t want to feel that way. It’s awful to not have control over your thoughts and feelings, even when you’re trying your best. 

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life. 

Summer of 2014 was the worst episode I’d ever had. I remember having to quit my job and move back home. I was so depressed I couldn’t go into work without breaking down. For about two months, it was really hard to do anything. I stayed in the bed until late afternoon and binged watched Netflix to try to distract myself from the negative thoughts that consumed my mind. I tried to sleep but couldn’t because my mind wouldn’t shut off. I cried A LOT that summer, but I developed a habit of praying a lot too. That was one thing that helped me overcome. Honestly, at first I struggled to believe most of the things I was reading and praying, but it got easier to after a while. That season was when I stopped trying to be perfect and put together and just let myself be. 

It’s my belief that mental illness makes us stronger, not weaker. How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness? 

Absolutely. My battle with depression and anxiety taught me how to fight for the life and health that I want. I learned about myself – emotional wounds, triggers, and capacity. I realized it’s okay to need more breaks or not have the same capacity as others. What I need to do for myself doesn’t make me less than, it makes me self-aware and that leads to a healthier mind and body. Though I had some very dark days, I’ll still here. I wanted to give up but I never did. 

It’s also helped me become more compassionate to the other people’s struggles. We’re all doing the best we can. Lastly, it strengthened my faith in God. It’s true what the Bible says, that God is close the brokenhearted. I met God in an entirely new way. He gave me hope and purpose when I had none. I will always remember how I felt during those years, and I will share my story with boldness in hope that someone else will find the courage to keep going.

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

To this person: you have such an enlightening approach to your illness. It is obvious that you have struggled with depression for an extended period of time because of all of the progress you have made in accepting and working with your diagnosis. Something I always explained to my kiddos when working with them was that depression is not like the chicken pox; you do not go through a depressive episode once and then it’s done. Depression is something that you live with and you could have an episode weekly, monthly, or you could go 5 years between having an episode. There’s no way of knowing when it can come back, and there’s no way of preventing it, but you have found ways to cope with that uncertainty, and that is truly so very strong and introspective of you. 

How can friends and family support someone who suffers from depression?

I think the biggest thing is just to be understanding. When I say understanding, I don’t mean baby someone and make them feel reliant upon your support. I don’t mean push them away. I don’t mean pretend that nothing is wrong. Understand that some days will be harder than others. Understand that someone does not choose to have roller coaster moods and emotions. Ask them what they need. If they tell you to go away, that doesn’t mean they don’t like you or want you around, they just need the time to focus on themselves. Someone suffering through a depressive episode may need different things throughout different episodes, and so listening to what they need is so imperative!

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***

Story #5

I am strong. I always have been. I think we all have weak moments, but being able to share them with others and learn from our mistakes makes us stronger.

What is your diagnosis?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Major depression disorder, and Anxiety

What do your symptoms look like?

My symptoms come out in a couple ways; extremely hyper or irritated. Sometimes my meltdowns come out in crying fits. 

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

I wish people knew that I’m not my diagnosis. That just because my anxiety shows out sometimes, it doesn’t mean I’m not a good person. 

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life. 

A few months to almost a year ago, my world fell apart again. It often does for people in our shoes. But I lost my dream job, and then my husband, soon-to-be ex, became more and more emotionally abusive towards me. 

Over a few months, things had gotten so bad for me internally that I exploded on my stepdaughter and I hit her. I had never hit either of them before. I will never forget it and I will not forgive myself. My anxiety was so bad, and I was so depressed, that I took it out on her and I shouldn’t have. She can be a turd but she didn’t deserve that. I don’t raise my hands to people. 

A month later I went off on her older sister saying “don’t worry, I’m leaving. You won’t have to deal with me anymore.” It was one of the lowest points in my life. But really, it was me I couldn’t stand. I’m thankful for my therapist for helping me out of that dark moment. I’m glad the girls don’t hate me.

How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness? 

I am strong. I always have been. I think we all have weak moments, but being able to share them with others and learn from our mistakes makes us stronger. Trying to find a way to fight it; a way to get through each day. I use art a lot to draw my emotions out. I always draw flowers when I’m upset because I believe that if you create something beautiful out of an ugly situation, it makes the world a better place. I don’t believe we are flawed but unique.

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

I love that your coping skill is not just a distraction, but a method of healing. You find yourself in a weak moment, and you seize the moment by not only doing something to distract your mind away, but you have chosen to train your mind to turn a negative moment into a positive one. This is going to help you heal lightyears faster than if you just utilize a coping skill as a distraction. 

People generally associate PTSD with military or sexual abuse trauma. Can you share some other common forms of PTSD that people may not be as familiar with?

Any traumatic experience that someone suffers through can lead to the development of Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder. In the world of trauma we categorize trauma in two different categories; “Big T” and “Little T”. A Big-T trauma would constitute the above mentioned military or sexual abuse, but it also could constitute an accident, a natural disaster, or a world pandemic. A Little-T trauma would constitute something like an embarrassing moment, failing a test, or having a bad date. While traumatic, these Little-T traumas would not constitute a trigger for PTSD. Death of a loved one, a fire in your childhood home, or losing a limb in an accident are also examples of Big-T traumas; these are more examples of what would trigger PTSD.

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***

Story #4

I wish people knew that my mental illnesses are not a choice.

What is your diagnosis?

Major depressive disorder, Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

What do your symptoms look like?

Major depressive disorder: sadness, emptiness, lonliness, wanting to sleep all of the time, isolation, etc.

Anxiety: Racing heart, sweating, feeling like I can’t breathe, feeling like there is a hole in my stomach.

PTSD: Flashbacks, nightmares, feeling unsafe in certain situations, etc.

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

I wish people knew that my mental illnesses are not a choice. That anybody with these diseases has a chemical imbalance in their brain and there is nothing that we can do to control it. We can’t make it go away. Same goes for others…other people can’t make it go away for us. All we can do is learn how to cope with it. Others can learn how to be supportive and be there for us. 

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life.  

My mental illnesses have led me down a path of self destruction. I have searched and searched for ways to cope with the things in my mind. I have resorted to cutting, drugs/alcohol, sex… anything to cope. 

My mental illnesses have led me to many suicide attempts, one attempt landing myself on a ventilator in the ICU. I have stayed in psychiatric hospitals more times than I can count since the age of 14. I have been in residential treatment centers, sober living housing and rehabs more times than I’d like to admit. My mental illnesses have affected my relationship with my family and friends. It has affected my school work, my job attendance, etc. 

How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness? 

I believe I would not be the person I am today without my diseases. I have been through so much. More than the average person. It has taught me a lot of life lessons. I am more caring and understanding because I have been through it. I believe I am a better nurse to my patients that have any psychiatric illnesses. I know how to respond and make them feel like they are understood. I never want to make them feel less than for what they struggle with. 

Through all of the counseling, I have learned coping skills to deal with my depression, panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, drug/alcohol cravings…whatever it may be. I have learned who my true friends are; those who have never left my side even when I was the nastiest person to be around. I have learned that no matter what I am feeling, the feeling doesn’t last forever and I am strong enough to make it through.

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

I think it’s so important to recognize that PTSD is not what you see in movies! It’s not always the expected traumas, any sort of trauma can trigger PTSD and not only is the person processing the trauma that they went through, but they are also processing things such as flashbacks and nightmares, which ultimately feels like they are reliving the trauma over and over again. Imagine living the worst day of your life over every time you went to sleep, or living the worst day of your life over and over again — that is what it is like to have PTSD. It’s exhausting, emotional, hurtful, scary, draining, and so many other emotions! 

In your opinion, why do people who suffer from depression and PTSD tend to resort to self harm to deal with the hard emotions or memories?

While a mentally healthy person may struggle to ever understand why someone would choose to participate in self-harm, someone that is constantly in pain from a diagnosis of depression or PTSD, may see self-harm as a form of relief. By inflicting pain upon oneself, not only are they transferring the origin of the pain from their disorder to something that they control, but they are finally gaining control over something in their life. A person with a mental disorder has no control over being diagnosed with a disorder, but by choosing to self-harm, in that moment, they are choosing where their pain stems from; thus taking back control of their situation. This is extremely appealing for someone who feels they have lost all control over their life; even if it requires inflicting additional pain upon themself.

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***

Story #3

Yeah, my mood can swing hard, but don’t call me psycho..

What is your diagnosis?

Depression, Bipolar disorder

What do your symptoms look like?

Daily ones include: low self esteem, low energy, reduced sex-drive, self-hatred, irritability, withdrawing from friends. I’ve read that my poor memory could be a symptom of depression but I don’t know if it’s directly related to it. 

My bipolar symptoms are random mood swings, manic behavior with money, poor decision making, abnormally upbeat and talkative, and racing thoughts. And then at my worst, helplessness and hopelessness + substance abuse resulting in thoughts of death and suicide. 

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

I wish people knew that it’s a lot more common than they think and it doesn’t make you “psycho” because you have these symptoms.. at least I don’t think I’m psycho, but that term really does hurt my feelings. Yeah, my mood can swing hard, but don’t call me psycho..

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life. 

I was most significantly impacted by my diagnosis/symptoms when I hit rock bottom and was planning suicide, which ultimately landed me in a mental hospital. My mental illness led me to dropping out of college one semester away from receiving my Master’s Degree, living on my own in a place I couldn’t afford, drowning in credit card debt, “working for myself” as a designer then unemployed, abusing alcohol and drugs in addition to being on stimulants and multiple other medicines for my mental illness. Things were spiraling faster than I knew what to do and I felt SO LOST. I felt no other way out.

How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness? 

I’ve seen myself grow because of my mental illness because I had to learn what it takes to keep going no matter how hard things get. There is hope and I truly do believe in a saving grace. Since I was redeemed, I learned that you not only have to be strong for yourself but for others. I’ve grown by being more self aware and not selfish, living to my fullest potential for those bigger than myself; my loved ones and those who need me. I’m here for them. And I didn’t see that so clearly before.

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

Bi-Polar is a very frustrating diagnosis in the sense that you are unable to control your mood changes. Some would say that they prefer to be manic, some would say that they prefer to be in a depressed state, but unfortunately, Bi-Polar Disorder does not let you choose which mood you want to be in and when you want to be in it. That makes the disorder even more stressful and frustrating for the person battling the illness. 

How can friends and family members support someone who suffers from bipolar disorder? How does it affect their relationships and work life?

Bi-polar disorder can be an extremely difficult disorder for friends and family to witness due to the ups and downs that come with the disorder. A person may appear manic and be extremely happy, extremely productive, and seem as if they have “overcome” this illness. And then as short as a few hours or days later the same person may be struggling to get out of bed, claim to have no energy, and be extremely sad. It is devastating for friends and family to watch this switch and consistently watch this vicious cycle go around and around.

Because of this constant roller-coaster, relationships both personal and professional become extremely difficult to maintain. Behaviors and moods can change vastly and unexpectedly, which makes it impossible to predict a person’s behaviors; even for the person. This is extremely difficult for friends and family to understand, but from an employment perspective, it makes it even more difficult for the ill person to maintain a professional position, when their reliability is often at question.

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***

Story #2

My symptoms look like having to do things over and over again until I get them “right” or horrific things will eventually happen to me…

What is your diagnosis?

OCD, Generalized anxiety disorder, Paranoia with psychotic features. 

What do your symptoms look like?

My symptoms look like having to do things over and over until I get them “right” or horrific things will eventually happen to me or my loved ones. I always think people hate me or are talking about me. 

My anxiety hurts my chest and makes me hurt mentally and physically. I have trouble breathing. I sometimes feel like I’m not myself, or that I’m out of my body and don’t know how to control it. Feeling like I can’t control myself or my impulse feelings, self harming, talking myself out of suicide; it’s very scary. 

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

 I don’t know, I just want patience and understanding from my friends and family. 

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life. 

My symptoms started after I gave birth to my son. After that, I ruined everything I had with his father. The second I didn’t feel love or reassurance, or the tiniest argument or negative situation, I left because I didn’t know how to express what was going on in my head. I hardly remember years of our relationship because I wasn’t taking care of myself. 

How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness?  

I have found myself growing from my mistakes and learning how to cope better with everything that goes on in my head rather than contiplating suicide and self harm. It’s a slow process, though.

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

Paranoia is such a difficult diagnosis because it is almost always comorbid with another diagnosis. I can’t imagine having paranoia and not having other diagnoses such as an anxiety disorder or a depressive disorder. Constantly wanting to do things right, constantly worrying if people like you or not, that would most definitely trigger criteria for other disorders. 

How can friends and family members support someone who suffers from paranoia? How does it affect their relationship? 

Paranoia as with any mental illness is going to be difficult for someone outside of the experience to understand. People can only try to imagine what it’s like to suffer through a mental illness if they have never experienced it for themselves; because of this, it’s hard for friends and family to connect to an invisible issue. This is frustrating for friends and family, but it is even more frustrating for the person suffering through the illness.

As if battling a mental illness is not enough on their plate, when you add in the mental illness being paranoia, it’s an uphill battle that seems to have no peak. Remember when talking with someone who is battling paranoia to keep things simple, do not argue with them, and if you feel that someone is in immediate danger, call 911. It’s also important to always remember to help the person in any way that you can. If their paranoia relates to a fear of dogs, keep them away from dogs. If having a light on fuels the paranoia, then keep the lights off. Keep it simple, and direct.

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***

Story #1

It feels like constant worrying and overanalyzing about how i’m presenting myself to other people.

What is your diagnosis?

OCD, Major depression, Generalized anxiety disorder, Panic disorder

What do your symptoms look like?

For me, my OCD symptoms do not look like what people normally associate with OCD, like compulsive hand washing and such. For me, it’s an obsessive thought process where a thought (sometimes disturbing) comes into my head and instead of letting it pass, I focus on it and compulsively think through all the reasons that thought appeared in order to calm my anxiety about the thought.

For depression, I feel tired, sad, lonely, isolated, unable to concentrate and at times hopeless and worthless.

For anxiety, it feels like constant worrying and overanalyzing about how i’m presenting myself to other people; what they think of me, how i’m responding, how I fit in, etc. and at times feeling chest tightness, sweaty palms, flushed face and chest, and heart racing.

For panic disorder, it’s an out-of-body feeling where I feel the need to escape the current moment I’m in. All the anxiety feelings exemplify to an overwhelming point and the moment feels so powerful that sometimes I feel like I will die or pass out. 

It’s unfortunate because my anxiety keeps me away from people, but isolation from people is what fuels my depression. 

What do you wish people knew about your diagnosis?

I wish people knew how hard it is for me (and people like me). It takes a lot of mental stamina and courage and energy for me to do daily, normal things that many people don’t often have to think about. Things that should be fun like going to a wedding or a bachelorette trip or a happy hour or a concert; these things often feel very overwhelming and exhausting for me. I wish so badly that I could be a free spirit who can go-with-the-flow and enjoy these moments. But honestly, trying to be “normal” is a daily battle. 

Share a story where your diagnosis/symptoms significantly impacted your life. 

I have many stories but one that comes to mind was fairly recent. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I could feel the anxiety building from the moment I started walking down the aisle. As I stood at the front, all eyes on me with no way to escape, I started to panic. I don’t even remember the bride walking down the aisle because I felt so much fear in that moment. I knew, from training with my psychiatrist and counselor, that the moment would pass and I could talk myself through it. But when you’re in those moments, it feels really scary and it’s an extreme mental battle to get through it.

How have you seen yourself grow because (or in spite of) your mental illness?  

I have an auto-immune disease in addition to these mental disorders, so dealing with both those things my whole life has been hard, to say the least. But I would not be who I am today without these things. I could spend my time wishing them away. But I have gained so much from years of struggle. I have become more compassionate and understanding. I have met amazing people on this journey who have taught me so much. I have a stronger mentality and resilience and determination. I have more empathy. I have more drive to help others. I have seen myself overcome obstacles and mistakes and breakdowns that could have killed me. And yet I’m still here. I am stronger for what I’ve been through. And I want to spend my days telling others how strong they are, too. 

Counselor reaction:

General comments or reactions:

Recognizing that your auto-immune disease is an additional factor to your mental illness is very important! Knowing what I know about what you have overcome from a physical health perspective, I have no doubt that there are things from that battle that have carried over to your mental health battle. Additional to things like auto-immune disease, dietary factors as well as physical activity play into mental health symptoms, and it’s important for people to recognize that. At the end of the day where a mental illness stems from is just as important as diagnosing the mental illness, because that will assist in the treatment process. By recognizing that your auto-immune disease may play into your mental illness, you provide yourself the ability to finding more efficient treatment for your symptoms. 

What advice would you give to someone who is trying to determine if they have OCD? How can they know their behaviors are obsessive or compulsive, versus a healthy reaction (like washing your hands before every meal, for example):

In my experience, most cases of OCD do not look like what you see in movies and on TV. It is important to truly understand what OCD is. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder does not require the presence of both obsessions AND compulsions. One can be present independent of the other and still qualify as OCD. The difference between behaviors triggered by OCD and regular healthy behaviors are the thoughts behind the behaviors. If you are washing your hands because you were raised to have clean hands before enjoying a meal, that is a healthy behavior. If you wash your hands multiple times throughout a meal, or cannot make it through your meal without your thoughts being fixated on the germs that could be accumulating on your hands, these are behaviors more typical of OCD. Even if you recognize that your thoughts or behaviors may fall along the lines of OCD behaviors, just recognizing that is not enough to disqualify the disorder. You can have impeccable insight to what’s happening, and still not be able to control it. That is why it is considered a disorder and not a choice; it is important to recognize the difference between the two.

About this series: It was a great desire of mine to share stories from real people who live with a mental disorder. The goal with this series is to shed light on what it’s really like for people. What it looks like day-to-day and how it affects their life. But also to see just how strong these people are. While the impact is strong on the individual experiencing it, a mental disorder also impacts family, friends, and coworkers. So it was also important to me to bring in a licensed counselor to read and react to these stories, and to share a few helpful tips to better understand and respond to a loved one who struggles in this way.

About the counselor: Andrea McDonald, MAC, NCC, LPC is a licensed professional counselor living in Kansas City. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology, criminal justice, and sociology in 2012 from Simpson Collage, and went on to receive her master’s in counseling from Mid America Nazarene University, studying marriage and family therapy/counseling in 2019. She has 8+ years of youth and family counseling experience. Andrea has a beautiful, huge heart for others, and it’s an honor to have her as a friend (and fun fact, she’s my soon-to-be sister in law!) You can connect with Andrea on Instagram: @KCSelfCareStudio

Photography by: HNV Photography KC // Special thought and consideration went into this project to honor the stories that were told and I couldn’t think of a better collab partner. Heidi, you have a gift and your ability to capture the raw, real emotions is inspiring to me everyday. Thank you, friend!

***Note, while I hope the information shared here is insightful, it is not meant to serve as official medical advice or diagnose any symptoms you may be experiencing. If you have any questions regarding your mental, behavioral and emotional health, I recommend you speak with a licensed professional.***